The Three Little Pigs Teach Negotiation

Let's reinterpret the familiar tale of the Three Little Pigs and their nemesis wolf in real adult terms, and apply it to negotiation.

We often tell the tale to children to help them deal with their various fears, some expressed as fear of being eaten. Adults, too, have fears, often similar. They fear being "eaten alive" by a clever and aggressive business adversary. Still, to counter the fear we need only one pig, one who is intelligent, a planner, and not panicked. And our hero pig can then build a metaphoric house of bricks to thwart the business wolf.

This is essentially what I speak of when I advocate using Zen technique, or getting to Your Zen Space^sm to counter the fear of being eaten alive or otherwise beaten at bargaining. Remember to concentrate on three consecutive breaths, the inhale and exhale; imagine yourself personally outside the situation and observing it; and practice this procedure often, at non-threatening times.

You will now be able to thwart the wolf at the door, and no amount of his or her huffing and puffing will threaten you. You will feel safe and able to think rationally and ahead.

Negotiate in Your Zen Space

Practitioners of the Zen philosophy have something to teach those of us who are not, something that is helpful to the process of negotiation.

The most difficult part of negotiation for most people is keeping your cool in the face of the pressure to succeed, the pressure tactics used by others, resulting anger, and often the knowledge that a negotiation table is not a familiar place. Finding your Zen space can help enormously and, with reasonable practice, this can come naturally.

Practice in advance getting into Your Zen Space. You will be seeking awareness stripped of those obscuring layers imposed by mindless thoughts, self-referent attachments and dogmas. You will be seeking to view reality, as it is, a "mindful" state.

At first, use a quiet room, away from distractions, with neutral decorations. Get some non-disturbing music playing, whatever relaxes you. Sit in a comfortable chair. Close your eyes. Take three deep breaths, focusing your thoughts on your inhales and exhales. Review your thoughts and then discard them. Focus only on what it feels, sounds and looks like in this state. Imagine yourself watching yourself from outside.

This state is not sleep, but neither is it the hyper-alert, stirring state of mind when we are awake.

Practice this process often, in conditions that increasingly less isolated, so you can eventually get here wherever you are. You have found your Zen space, where you can think and interact without interference from your fears, biases and presuppositions.